i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
