Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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