i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
