I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
