i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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