You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
