i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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