I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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