Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
