hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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