Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
