i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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