So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
