Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
