Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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