Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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