apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
