I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
