he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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