last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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