oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
