Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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