I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
