In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
