Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
