We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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