I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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