Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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