i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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