New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
