New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
