there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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