I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
