I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Randomize
