she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
