also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
