we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
