before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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