Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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