aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you had me at cake vodka
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
