epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
