ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
