i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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