He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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