i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We are two peas in an std pod
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
