I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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