dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
