Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
