I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
