Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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