Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
