Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
