I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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