look no pants
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize