come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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