so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
