I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
