I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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