Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
