We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
