where does the pee come out of this thing
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
