I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
