yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize