Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
