Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize