i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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