We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
